Knight in Shining Snorer

My friend, who we will call Jessica, starting talking to this guy , who will call Matt, after connecting with him through a mutual Facebook friend. They communicated daily via text and phone calls for about 8 months until her birthday rolled around and he wanted to take her out to dinner. Excited to finally meet him and celebrate her birthday she said yes to the invitation.

They met at a nice Italian restaurant where he opened a bottle of wine and they ordered their meals. The conversation was flowing and the date appeared to be going well until Jessica was taking her first bite of chicken and noticed that Matt’s eyes were closed. Unsure what to do, she tapped her fork against the wine glass as if she was making a toast to make enough noise and get his attention. The noise seemed to work and when he asked her what was wrong, she told him that he was just sleeping. He very nonchalantly replied “Oh, I have a sleeping disorder”.

The first thing that went though Jessica’s mind was “why the hell didn’t he tell me this during the 8 months of chatting”? She decided to keep that thought in her head and  continue the date. A few minutes and two bites later, he was a goner again. As they sat in this nice restaurant, she stared at him with his head at his chest, mouth wide open and eyes closed and decided that this date was over.

She threw $40 on the table and walked out, leaving him to take his nap by himself partially hoping that he would end up face first in his spaghetti.

He has continuously called and text her apologizing but after that blow to her self esteem thinking that she can’t even keep a guy awake through dinner, she is not interesting his apology. Ironically, Jessica is an outgoing, bubbly and beautiful girl that can certainly keep any man’s attention. So unfortunately for Matt, he will have to fall asleep on someone else and Jessica is going to give someone without Narcolepsy her next dinner date.