I know that I am going to offend some of my readers with this article so let’s start off with an apology in advance and a disclaimer. Although I am generalizing and categorizing with what I am about to say, my disclaimer is simple; this is not an accurate depiction of all men but of a large population of the near 40 year old bachelors.
I think it’s safe to admit that there seem to be an awful lot of “lifetime bachelors” out there who appear to be a “great catch” but have never been married or had children by the age of 40. I would even go out on a limb and say by age 38 is already a red flag based on my research. I’m not saying that both should happen by an exact age, but in all honestly if a man has not shared his life and space with another woman or had the responsibility of raising a child by his mid to late 30’s, then he is probably too selfish and set in his ways to ever do it or at least do it well. There comes a point in a person’s life that after living alone and not having anyone but themselves to worry about becomes so comfortable for them that they have no concept of how to share their time, space or energy with others.
I’m sure that there are a few guys in this category who are legitimately good guys who just haven’t met the right girl but let’s face it, for the most part, there’s something wrong with them. I know quite a few who I have come across in my years of dating after divorce. Let’s talk about a few- I have changed their names to be fair.
1) “ Bob”, 38 years old. Good looking, athletic, military man, intelligent, successful and financial well off. He even has a boat (bonus) as well as a nice new home. I had a couple of dates with him myself and since then, I have seen him blow through a bunch of relationships because he has no idea how to devote himself to anyone other then himself. He is unique in the sense that he has a child BUT this child lives in another state and is being raised full time by the mother (who he was never in a relationship with). He sees his child twice a year at best. That in and of itself was a complete turn off for me. He will more than likely be a lifetime bachelor and a waste of a pretty face.
2) “Dan”, 38 years old. Good looking, tall, successful, financially stable and yes, never married, no kids. Lives alone and has lived alone for quite some time in a condo that he owns. And here is the real indication of his lifetime bachelorhood… his longest relationship over the past 10 years has been TWO MONTHS. He blames crazy girls, I blame his insanity. See “Match not made in Heaven” January 2010, https://fiercelyanya.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/january-2010-an-oldie-but-one-that-will-preface-my-blog-later-tonight/
3) “Eric”, 41 years old. Good looking, tall, successful, educated, financially stable and yes, never married, no children. His vision of the “perfect woman” is completely delusional. He pursues women who are already taken so that he doesn’t have to commit or the ones who aren’t taken he can only commit to having sex with and maybe an occasional non-committal date. He broke up with him last girlfriend because she wasn’t punctual and took too long to get ready. I guess he must be perfect… FAIL.
Sadly, I could go on about this for many more pages, but I think my point is well made. I have had a few men who I pegged as lifetime bachelors prove me wrong and either pop the question or father a child but for the most part, these men have spent many years proving my theory right. There is no scientific evidence or large research study but I bet if we wait 2 years from now, these three men will still be as single as ever. Hell, the first two have been for close to 3 years since I started following them!
Feel free to add your own lifetime bachelor story….