So today I got some information that confirmed what I already knew months and months ago. that my ex-boyfriend is in fact a douche bag. He is taking the trash bag who he was texting during our relationship to his sister’s wedding. So the bullshit that he fed me about them being “just friends” was exactly that, bullshit. It’s not that this information surprises me or that it’s so out of character for him, it just makes me angry with myself for allowing him into my children’s lives when I should have known that he was never really a man. I have been over the relationship since before it actually ended, the problem is, my kids, especially my son, is not. He was the only guy I introduced them to in my three and a half years of divorce and it turned out to be a bad decision. He was good to them when we were together and they really got to like him but in the end, he wasn’t cut out for real life and responsibilities. He is not in my kids lives as he promised he would remain after the break-up and I have face him every single day when I go to work.
So now my kids and I are paying the price because my son has told me that he doesn’t ever want me to date, he doesn’t ever want to get hurt again and he does not want to meet my current boyfriend, ever. I have always done such a great job protecting them but I know that I can’t protect them forever and that life will go on.
Now just to deal with the guilt and figure out how to make this work for everyone. Dating isn’t easy, motherhood isn’t easy and douche bags are everywhere.