So today I got some information that confirmed what I already knew months and months ago. that my ex-boyfriend is in fact a douche bag. He is taking the trash bag who he was texting during our relationship to his sister’s wedding. So the bullshit that he fed me about them being “just friends” was exactly that, bullshit. It’s not that this information surprises me or that it’s so out of character for him, it just makes me angry with myself for allowing him into my children’s lives when I should have known that he was never really a man. I have been over the relationship since before it actually ended, the problem is, my kids, especially my son, is not. He was the only guy I introduced them to in my three and a half years of divorce and it turned out to be a bad decision. He was good to them when we were together and they really got to like him but in the end, he wasn’t cut out for real life and responsibilities. He is not in my kids lives as he promised he would remain after the break-up and I have face him every single day when I go to work.
So now my kids and I are paying the price because my son has told me that he doesn’t ever want me to date, he doesn’t ever want to get hurt again and he does not want to meet my current boyfriend, ever. I have always done such a great job protecting them but I know that I can’t protect them forever and that life will go on.
Now just to deal with the guilt and figure out how to make this work for everyone. Dating isn’t easy, motherhood isn’t easy and douche bags are everywhere.
Your an amazing mom with two even more amazing kids, you deserve all the credit in the world for that. Your protector is now your son and you be proud of that! He is a great kid and just is worried about the number one person in his life, he will see your happiness and comfortability with whoever you bring around and will warm up eventually. For now he is the best prince charming in the world.
Thank you so much!!! That made me smile!
Please do not beat yourself up in this way any longer. Unfortunately, no one has a crystal ball that prevents all the ugly stuff from happening…however….all of us who are strong enough to keep moving into the future despite the unknowns will ALWAYS see that it was worth the journey. Your son has witnessed how men SHOULD NOT ACT. This means that you and your son have a chance to speak about this topic and continue to raise him to be a FINE YOUNG MAN who will respect relationships. Your daughter is a strong little lady who will definitely not put up with poor behavior and will draw strength from you as she always has. Like mother…like daughter.
Although pain IS a part of life, it’s the kind of antidotes and remedies that one chooses in order to cope that truly make the difference in healing. While your son/daughter has been hurt….they feel your pain too…and this is what makes them guarded. They do not want to see you hurt anymore. However…happiness has now found you…..so be happy. Your children will see you happy and they will follow. They say that laughter IS the best medicine right??…so…..my suggestion is….have the last laugh. You and your children will come out of all of this together….and everyone else who has stepped out….will be on the outside looking in. So keep the good times rolling and continue to live, love and laugh.
BTW –FOOD FOR THOUGHT —
“It does not matter if you are a man who has an amazing face…an amazing body…and an amazing cash flow to match. Your reputation precedes them all.” –Quoted by M.M.P
Thank you so much for the beautiful & inspiring words. I couldn’t agree with you more on every point!