You have taken a picture of yourself flexing at the gym. You may have more muscles than brains and you are definitely a douche.


You are in love with yourself. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror, walking like you have pole stuck up your ass and checking to see if people are looking at you. It makes you look like a douche.


You are not friends with any of your ex-girlfriends. If everyone you have dated hates you, you are a douche.


You have pretended to be single when you’re actually in a relationship. There is never a good reason to not wear your wedding ring or pretend your girlfriend doesn’t exist, unless you’re a douche.


You are a mammas boy, If mommy still does your laundry and wipes your ass, you are a douche.


Your friends are douches. If you hang with douches, you are probably a douche yourself.


If you talk about your incessantly and don’t listen to who you are with, you are a self-absorbed douche. Pay attention to your woman to make her happy, the world does not revolve around you. Douche.


You have to hide your phone from your girlfriend/wife. If you’re hiding something from the one you love, you are a douche.


You frequent strip clubs or watch an abnormal amount of porn, you are a horny douche.


You have ever laid your hands on a woman, you are a pussy and a douche.




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