Beware of dogs

Beware of the following five types of dogs

1) The guy who loves himself so much that he can’t possible love anyone else. There is a guy like this at my gym, I have never spoken one word to him but I can say with certainty that he loves himself more than life itself. I won’t deny that he is extremely good looking and has a killer body but he doesn’t just have confidence, he has cockiness. A little bit of cockiness is a turn-on but this kind of cockiness is a huge turn off. I watch him look at himself in the mirror with huge admiration. I listen to him speak to girls while never actually listening to what they are saying in return. I see how he looks at me when he walks by, it’s not that he is checking me out its that he is looking to see if I am checking him out. I have decided that he will either be a bachelor for life or be married to someone who loves herself as much as he loves himself.

2) The self-proclaimed douche. One of these self-proclaimed douchebags just wrote about himself on Idatedthatdouche.com. It was almost like he was sitting in a confessional and asking for forgiveness. It was the first time a douche did this on their site and while I give him props for admitting that he is a douche, I don’t see that he is overly remorseful. I also feel like he needs to be douched over by a girl to feel the pain of what he has done to the girls he has played. I have met a few of these douches who like to make excuses for themselves on why they are douche bags and how they want to change but until they develop a rehab prgram for douche bags I would have to say that once a douche, always a douche.

3) The “I just haven’t met the right girl” type. I have one word for this: BULLSHIT. You have met the right girl, you were either too stupid to know it at the time or too busy playing the field to care. We all have the one that got away and any guy who claims that’s why he has never been married or settled down is only fooling themselves.

4) The “I’m just really busy” dude. That’s code for one of two things a) I don’t like you enough to make time for you or b) I am busy fucking around with other girls to devote much time to you.

5) The “I don’t know what I want right now so I need some time to myself”. This means I want to time to screw other girls in case I like them better than you and if I do then you won’t hear from me agin. If I don’t I will call you back and tell you that I missed you and I want to make it work.

THE END