Love is deaf dumb and blind

This is part II, the continuation of my original story: Smart in life and stupid in love. I tried to forgive and stop being angry at my most recent ex-boyfriend because I’m going to have to see his face every single day at work in the very near future BUT it didn’t work…

After the break-up, he really wanted to be friends and kept asking me how I could just throw 7 years away because we were friends for close to 5 years before the 2 year relationship, so I decided there was no reason we couldn’t be friends. Well, I WAS WRONG. As soon as I let him back in as a friend he went back to the “I screwed up” “What if we were meant to be together” “I miss you and the kids” “I’m a loser” I’m an idiot” blah blah blah. I had to set him straight and tell him right away that I was trying to regain our friendship and had no interest in having a relationship with him ever again. So after the few days of TRYING to be a friend, he basically faded away because my best guess is, he realized it was never going to be anything more.

During our 5 year friendship I was always there for him through every heart ache and issue. I motivated him to go back to school, helped him register for classes, helped him with his tax returns, and drove him around when his tires were stolen off of his car along with endless amount of other things. So call me naïve, but when he said he didn’t want to throw away a friendship I thought that meant he would be a good friend to me. I WAS WRONG AGAIN. He was as shitty of a friend as he was a boyfriend. My grandfather, who he had met multiple times and had a relationship with got very sick and passed away. He wasn’t there for me or my kids. He never sent a card, flowers or offered to do a damn thing.

Then it was my birthday and his ENTIRE family either called, text or left me a Facebook post to wish me a happy birthday and he did NOTHING.

All of this brought back my anger but what I am most angry about is that he has failed my kids. He promised me & he promised them that he would still be there for them and in their lives yet he’s no where to be found. He is the only man I ever allowed in my children’s lives for this very reason. I thought it was safe to have him in their lives based on our history and because he already had somewhat of a relationship with them. I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT TOO.

I was deaf, dumb and blind to all of the signs, red flags, and warnings that predicted that he would turn out to be this was. I want to say that he’s the idiot but in actuality I feel like the idiot. I always saw the good in him and I trusted him to be a good man, In the end, he didn’t turn out to be a man at all, he is an infant child who selfish, self-absorbed and has absolutely no idea how to maintain a friendship or relationship.

 I am beyond happy that we are no longer together and not only have learned a lot from this experience but I also began this journey of writing. I have found myself through my thoughts and my words and I am learning to love who I am. I will stop being angry and bitter because I have to see the good in people again if I ever want to move on and be in love again and I know that I do. So wherever you are, Mr. Right (for me) I will be here whenever you decide to make your appearance, In the meantime I am loving every minute of this new journey. Singlehood is all about me 🙂