Thanks but no thanks. An experiment gone bad.

I tried out a newer free dating website more so for the research aspect but also for curiosity. Well, I lasted ONE week before disabling this account. As with most of the free sites, the caliber of men that I found on the site was less than desirable. Again, I am not saying that I am some amazing wonderful person, I’m just saying that I have a job, I can spell and I am not browsing the web in order to find a booty call.

There was portion of the profile that stated: You should contact me if. So I simply said “If you have substance and are looking for more than a piece of ass” I figured that was direct enough and might eliminate some slime balls. I also made sure to only use photos that didn’t show cleavage and didn’t give the impression that I was a slut, since I’m not and don’t want to portrayed as one. It actually seemed to work but some of the messages that I received during my brief stint on the site were worthy of mention so before I shut my profile down, I saved them.

 

Here are a few of my favorites:

 

 

 

1) ”Hey there

How was your week? Anything big on the fungenda?

Do you think that ellen degenerous and owen wilson dress up as each other on halloween?

 

I have no idea if he was trying to be funny or just is socially awkward but I didn’t even know how to respond to that message, so I didn’t.

 

 

2) “Can one have substance and want a piece of ass at the same time?? Just curious. =)”

 

I decided that I was not going to answer that stupid question because I probably would have said something like can someone be a nice guy and an asshole at the same time?

 

3) “Hi how are you? Ok let’s see so what can I ask? so what’s your favorite smell? What’s the one thing people always compliment you on and magical question is what body part do you put in first when you do the hokie pokie ? Lol

 

So this wasn’t terrible but the hokie pokie questions did me in. I think it’s great to have a sense of humor but that is a very odd way to start off.

 

4) “Damn I know I’m young but you are so hot”

 

So this guy is TWENTY THREE years old, super hot but TWENTY THREE years old. He did get a response of thank you but I would feel too dirty even going on a coffee date with him!

 

5) “hey there Miss, you look so pretty and cute :), Oh i wish i could put a rock in you finger and make you mine forever.lol (oh joking ,i am just day dreaming, i cant be that lucky haha )lol 🙂 , Oh the one who does will be the luckiest guy in the Universe. Well who knows i might get lucky :)(stop it me, i am day dreaming again lol). On a serious note, Like your profile and would like to communicate further incase If you like my thoughts too :).lots of love and happiness and clear horizons!! 

Warm Regards
Big T”

 

So the most bizarre part of this message is not that he wants to put a ring on my finger or that he calls himself Big T but that he lives 7,000 miles away inINDIA. My first question would be How the hell did you find me and my second would be are you looking for Green Card?

 

No more experimental dating sites for me unless my blog gets too boring and I need to do some more research!