December 2009

It’s Sunday night and I am heading out with my girlfriend to have a drink and some appetizers. We aren’t sure where to go so we get on the road and see a bar that recently opened, Iron Works Tavern and decide that we want to try it out. It’s connected to a hotel so we have no idea what kind of a crowd will be there but figure it’s worth a shot. We walk in and there is one couple in the corner of the lounge area and then the rest of the bar consists of all men. I can already tell this is going to be an interesting night.


We chat it up with the bartender who is making some unique martinis for us and is very friendly. I can feel eyes staring at me from the right corner of the bar. I look over to see a few older gentlemen who are looking at us and are clearly discussing what they see. A few minutes later a younger, tall and very attractive guy comes into the bar alone and sits directly across from us. He glances over at us and just I am hoping that maybe we will strike up a conversation the older men from across the bar come over to us. They bring over napkin roses that they made while starring us down. Yes, that’s right; they have origami skills and made us napkin roses. This is a first for me and I can’t help but say “what…you couldn’t find color napkins?”.  They find it funny but I was hoping it would be enough to get rid of them, but it wasn’t. One of the guys is speaking to my friend , telling her that he is 47 years old and lives at home with his mother. He has never married because his mom hasn’t cared for anyone he has dated. He even mentions a drug habit that he had at one point. He’s short, balding and has a voice that is about as sexy as a cartoon character. There isn’t even one compensating factor to outweigh the bad, and this is only after meeting him for 5 minutes. The man speaking to me is taller, grey and has on a lot of gold jewelry. I felt like he may have been one of the Sopranos. When he started telling me about his daughter and I asked how old she was, it took him a few minutes to remember. Wow, he sounds like father of the year to me. As this is going on I am trying to flag down that cute guy across the bar and mouthing “ help” to him. He shrugs his shoulders and then gives me a very nice smile back.  At this point this man is asking me if I will go out with him sometime. I tell him thanks but no thanks. He asks why and I say “Well, for starters, how old are you?”. He answers “42” I tell him that I don’t believe him and ask him for his license. Of course, he doesn’t have it with him, likely story. I tell him that my father is only 53 and that he looks to be the same age. I want out of this situation and tell my friend that we are tired and have to go. I want to run out of there but I pull a bold move that I would never have done in my 20’s and walk up to the cute guy who was across the bar and say to him “didn’t you see me flagging you down for help?”. He tells me that he wasn’t’ sure what to do but that he wished that he could have helped us out of the bad situation. He asks if we want to meet him for drinks at a bar down the street.  And off we go!


We get to the bar and he asks us what we want to drink and buys our drinks. We sit and talk for a long time and he buys us another round. Greg is 31, has never been married, doesn’t have kids, graduated with a BA fromRhode IslandCollegeand didn’t take kindly to the corporate world so decided to bartend for a while. It turns out he is a bartender at a restaurant that I frequent in the town that I grew up in. He is personable, talkative and charming. He doesn’t flinch when he hears that I am divorced with 2 kids. When my girlfriend goes to the bathroom, Greg asks me if I would like to go out with him sometime and I tell him that I would.  We exchange numbers and stay at the bar until closing.


When I get home, there is a text from him saying that it was great to meet me and I seem so down to earth and am a sweetheart. He asks when I am free and we set a date for the following Sunday night. And yes, I did my research and checked for a criminal record and relationship status on facebook, he was all clear.

He plans to take me to dinner at this really nice Italian restaurant and then out for drinks. I am fairly optimistic that this could be good even if it’s nothing serious. I hear from him sporadically throughout the week through text message. Saturday night we get hit with a blizzard that was incredible and lasted into Sunday morning. The roads are awful and I wonder if we are going to make it out. I send him a text and he asks if it’s ok if we reschedule because it took him so long to get home from work the night before and he shoveled all day. I am happy to stay in with the cold weather and bad roads. I figure that we will go out at some point soon. I don’t hear from him again until 2 weeks later when he wishes me Merry Christmas via text and that was it. I figure maybe he is no longer interested and let it go. I am certainly not going to pursue him.


About a month later I am my friend Cheryl’s house for dinner and drinks. Her sister Lisa and I decide to take ride down the street to the restaurant where Greg works to have a drink. It’s about 11:30 at this point and when we walk in I notice him at the side of the bar with his hat on. It seems he has just finished his shift and he immediately walks up to me and gives me hug. He buys our drinks for us and talks to us for the entire hour we are there. Lisa invites him back over to her sister’s house to hang out and he says he would love to go. He hangs out with us and we all leave there at 2:30am. The conversation was great and he was fun and meshed well with my friends. We leave at the same time and he gives me a hug and a little kiss on the cheek. We live in the same area so he was driving directly behind me towards the highway when my phone rings. It was Greg. I pick up and we talk for half of the ride home and he thanks me for coming in and says it was great to see me and that we should make plans to get together soon. When I get home, he texts me that he got home safely and tells me again that it was great to see me and to let him know how the Celtics game is the next day (I told him that I had tickets to the game) and we will make plans soon .These are all signs to me that he is interested.

I send him a few texts from the game and he responds to all of them. Then the next day and the day after and the day after that…… I don’t hear from him.

Another few weeks later I am at the restaurant again with my girlfriend Heather and as soon as we walk in, Greg spots us. He seems happy to see me and when we order our drinks he says that mine is on him. He comes over to talk for a few minutes and tells me to come back by the bar after dinner.

After dinner we find a spot at the bar and he starts giving me drinks to try and talks to me when it’s not busy. He’s all smiles. When his shift ends, we talk again for a few minutes and when I leave he gives me a hug and says he will call me.

Once again, I never hear from him again. And men say that women are complicated??? I don’t think so!

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